She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
