The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
