We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
there is puke in my bra ... again
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize