I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
