I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
