Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
