After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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