David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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