Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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