i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
And then my night got REAL pukey
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
