yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
