Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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