you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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