Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
