So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
So squirting runs in the family.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
