Little spoons don't ask big questions
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
