We need to rekindle our bromance
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
