operation harelip BJ is a go
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
