Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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