So drunk its hurt
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
