the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
