i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
