she was so not down for the gang bang
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
