90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
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