I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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