No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
