called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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