I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
