Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
That accounts for only three of the penises
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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