Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Boobs speak an international language.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize