i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
