I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
