Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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