there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
