So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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