wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
