he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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