I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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