Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
