He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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