I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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