that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You should frame my arrest warrant.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
