direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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