my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize