the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize