Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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