Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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