He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
