Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
