Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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