So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
