After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize