That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
BRING THE BAGELS
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
