I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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