at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
