We tried having a conversation with our noses.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
