So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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