no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
