I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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