I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
