I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
