So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
