whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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