am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
