thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you win again, gameday.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
