He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
