i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize