You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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